What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
Last Updated: 28.06.2025 00:37
Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
TEXT:
Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.
What do you like the most about black people?
Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!
Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.
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In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.
“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”
Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!
Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
Make Nazis afraid again!
What bait should you use for ocean fishing?
And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.
¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
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In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.
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Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …
Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.
Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.
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Marijuana makes Jesus cry!
At least until the peyote kicks in ...
I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
What is the opposite personality type of someone with ASPD (antisocial personality disorder)?
But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!
Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.
Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
Shameless vixen! Trollop!
I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
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Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.
Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.
Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority
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Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.